EVG in Germany

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Czech international Tomas Rosicky signed for Arsenal today, saying, "It is a great day for me." And so it may be for all Arsenal supporters... the 25-year-old midfielder is a great playmaker, has had success in Germany and hopefully will continue to progress for Arsenal.

But here's the problem. Before he gets to North London, Rosicky will play for the Czech Republic against the U.S. in Germany, which brings up the long-standing debate: which comes first, club or country?

I equate the situation to having a good friend who hasn't gotten laid in quite some time. You're looking out for him and you really hope he makes it happen. Mostly, quite frankly, because he's gotten a little annoying to be around and won't stop whining about the lack of horizontal mambo in his life.

Then he fucks your sister.

All along you had his back, playing wingman and encouraging him to get back on the horse. Then he makes your sis his mare. You'd be happy for the guy, but you can't be happy for the guy.

Which brings me back to Rosicky. If he goes out on June 12th in Gelsenkirchen and has a great game against the U.S., I'm not going to be happy. But some part of me might start thinking, "Well, at least he looks promising."

The reality is that it's hard to support a club team and then have those same players come up against your country in an international competition. I guess the only hope you can have is that your favorite players have a good game, but somehow your country wins anyway.

And I shudder to think about an Arsenal player scoring against the U.S. in Germany. If a draw is like kissing your sister, having a player from your favorite club team beat your country has got to be like having your friend fuck your sister. It's confusing, dirty and, ultimately, life-altering for everyone involved.

For my own sake, and that of the U.S. Men's National Team, I'm glad I only have a brother.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


Don't know these guys but I can tell you this much from experience: they went immediately to the pub afterwards, were louder than everyone else there, and sang the following song...

We're on our way, we're on our way... We're going to Paris, we're on our way... How we get there, we don't know. How we get there, we don't care.... All we know is we are on our way.

This time tomorrow I'll be in a great mood or a terrible one. It's really as simple as that.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Just 25 days until the start of the World Cup... if you're in the States, you might have seen the U2-inspired ads airing on ESPN. There are actually four different ones, though I've only seen the one about the ball over "City of Blinding Lights" on TV. Check out this link to watch the other three.

One is about Scottish fans attending the Cup, even though they haven't qualified, another is about the Ivory Coast, and the other is about sick days during the tournament -- which I think we can all relate to.

They also feature a nod to Bono's One campaign. A tasteful tie-in, if you'll allow me to be the judge of such things.

Until next time...

Monday, May 08, 2006

Orly takes a few seconds to show us the subtle difference between, "Yay, I've got my World Cup tickets!" and "I am absolutely insane; steer clear of me at all costs. Seriously. I own many sharp knives."

(Hint: The difference is having World Cup tickets in your hands.)

There's also a picture circulating the internet of some militant looking dude with his tickets, but I've been advised by that guy Bush just nominated to head up the CIA that posting it here would be a bad idea. And since that guy is credited with coming up with that whole fancy "warrantless wiretap" thing, I'll just steer clear.

The Levs now have their tickets too, as you may have been able to figure out. Apparently the one Lev child *not* going on the trip had the chance to hang with Carlos Bocanegra tonight in Miami, where she gets a tan and occasionally accidentally attends classes at a university. She says she chose studying for finals over partying with Fulham Football Club’s fullback-in-search-of-Miami-hotspots-on-a-Monday-night. Something tells me this ends in me receiving another picture that guy from the CIA says I can’t post.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

With Bruce Arena announcing his squad for the World Cup this week, I figured now was a great time to introduce the EVG in Germany crew. Because there are five of us, and because you’ve made the mistake of frequenting a place where I’m always Right with a capital R, here is our starting five… as a basketball lineup. Take that, logic!

Ilan Lev (6’3”, Michigan) – Center – Ilan is the kind of guy who looks a bit like Ben Affleck and ended up on Conan because of it. No kind of about it, actually. He is that guy. He was also my intern at one point, and must be considered the Lev child most likely to drink to excess and fall over. Repeatedly.

Ilan will be wearing an Onyewu jersey.

Ari Lev (height unknown, university unknown) – Power Forward – The elder statesman of the EVG in Germany crew, Ari’s a mystery wrapped inside an enigma. I consider him our secret weapon. Ari must be considered the Lev child most likely to have reggae on his iPod. I also have a feeling he could quickly learn how to drive a stick shift if I get tired of driving. Just a gut feeling.

Ari will be sporting a Bocanegra jersey.

Brandon Schubert (totally unknown) – Small Forward – I’ve never actually met the guy, but he responds quickly to emails and text messages, and that’s the kind of thing that scores big points with me. I also hear he walks (and talks) softly, so I’m going to assume he carries a big stick. Which is a baseball cliché, wrapped inside a basketball lineup, posted on a soccer blog. EVG 2, Logic Nil.

Brandon will be wearing a Donovan shirt. I've decided his nickname is gonna be Mellow Yellow. Unless it turns out he's Asian. That'd just be wrong.

EVG/Aaron Cummins (5’10”, Missouri) – Shooting guard – I’m the guy with the keys. Literally. We rented a car, and because it’s Europe and Europe is awesome, we saved about 300 euro by getting a manual transmission instead of an automatic. And it turns out I’m the only one who drives stick. We’ve all heard of the autobahn, right? The guy who drives a car about six days every year? Hurtling down the highway at 200 km/hour, which is like 450mph, if I did the calculations right? This should be an interesting subplot of the trip.

I've got a DaMarcus Beasley jersey, mostly because I like names with prefixes and internal capitalization. He's also a great fucking player, but that's less important than the capital M.

Orly Lev (5’nothing, a hundred and nothing) – Point Guard – That’s right, bitches. It’s a reference to Rudy starring that guy from the hobbit movie. An American football reference. Score another in the fight against logic. Orly must be considered the Lev child most likely to help keep us all in line, and thus, earns the nod at the point. She’s agreed to bring along her estrogen, which should help keep things just slightly less smelly and gross. She also seems good at being one of the guys, though, so I fully expect her to congratulate me on my new Russian “girlfriend”, rather than reminding me that the "prostitute" is “on the clock.” Thanks in advance, Orly!

Orly will be a girl in a U.S. jersey. I just can't remember which one.

The Levs at US-Trinidad last August. That was way back when New York had a professional soccer team. LtoR: Ari, Orly, Ilan.

It’s May 6th… half of our ticket supply is in hand… and I leave for Berlin exactly one month from today.

Until next time…